After such a great talk I felt lighter, a bounce in my step so to speak. I do have a great life. I already knew I was lucky but I think I short-changed what I’ve achieved. Just because I can’t (at this moment) fulfill the current goal Steve and I have in our life, doesn’t mean I’m not contributing. I’m a good housekeeper. I work causally. We have quality time together. I train our dogs and love them. I’m creative and have time and the resources to be. We have an unbelievable sex life. We can take trips when we want to. I manage all the bills and nothing is in arrears. I do good.
So I have to stop feeling guilty. I’ve done good. I just can’t do it alone and I need more assistance. Doctors are good at that stuff. I can’t be great at everything. I need help and that’s ok.
I’m proud how much I’ve turned our life around in the last 12 months. I’ve changed our diet by choosing better foods and teaching Steve portion control. I’ve lost almost 2 dress sizes and Steve looks like a whole new man but don’t tell him that or his head will swell. All our fruit and vege is bought at our local grocers. A lovely young couple own it. All our meat is bought at the local butcher and it’s melt-in-your-mouth amazing. All our bread is from the bakery, bought fresh when we need it. Other odds and ends are bought from Aldi. We save so much money and give back to the community. I wish we’d done this years ago.
Another way we save is on cleaning products. Sure we still use the dishwasher every now and then but ours is eco-friendly and a 5star water saving model. I don’t buy bathroom cleaner, just good old bicarb, vinegar and elbow grease. I’m quite proud of what I do for our home. It’s no great feat in comparison to creating a family but It’s how I prove I hold my own. I think I should send him something for helping me listen to myself. I’m worth something… and so are friends.