I haven’t really approached the topic too much on my blog because no one really responded when I did, and that’s ok. Sometimes it can be a funny thing to write about, but sometimes it just needs to be written. I’ve had this post brewing in the recesses of my mind for quite awhile so I’m just going to go with my gut and post it. If you don’t want to read it, then don’t but if you do then please do so with understanding.
Steve and I never had to worry about contraception in all the years we’ve been together. Sure, maybe the first few weeks but then we both got tested and we just relied on the pill. 12 months later I came off the pill so we could start trying for a family… as you know it took us years to be blessed with Aidan so in all that time contraception wasn’t even on our radar. Now it’s at the forefront of minds.
At this stage we want to wait until around Aidan’s 2nd birthday before we try again. Our options for contraception are pretty limited. I don’t want to take anything that alters hormones so that pretty much cancels out anything I can take or administer which leaves the job up to Steve. I thought one of the perks of being married and faithful meant we didn’t have to worry about using condoms. When I see them I get flashbacks of awkward teenage escapades and the whole vibe I get from condoms just doesn’t seem to give justice to what I experience with my husband.
The thought of using the “trusty” withdrawl method gives me heart palpatations! For someone who couldn’t wait to get pregnant a year ago, I’m completely anit-sperm now. I love Aidan and I love being his Mumma… I just don’t want to be anyone elses for awhile. I want to soak up my little boy and take things slow. When he was born I wanted to have another straight away, as did Steve but then we thought about it, really long and hard. My main reason for wanting another child straight away was because I was scared that the mythical gates of fertitily might close up on me if I didn’t and that wasn’t a good enough reason. I just had to have faith that just like last time, it’ll happen when it happens.
So for the time being I’m going to have to deal with situations like the one I had the other day at Coles. Steve and I went to the shops for formula and had a bit of a look around as we rarely go to the supermarket now as we do most of our shopping at Aldi and our local grocer… anyway, we get to the hygiene section and I’m looking at tinted moisteriser and casually ask Steve to grab a packet of condoms. He picks up a random product off the shelf and pretends to read it like he can’t hear me. I ask him again as I still can’t make up my mind about the moisturiser and this time he says “I think we need milk, I’ll be right back” and quickly scurries off to the other side of the store.