This week I’ve had a lot of heart to heart’s with Steve and we had a lovely night away in the city together with Aidan. It’s been refreshing, heated, sensual, compassionate, frustrating and to be quite honest… sexy. I’ve been reminded of the boy I met way back when and in awe of the man I have now by my side. Having our intimate times together was never an issue before Aidan was born. I was actually petrified and called friends in a pregnant hormonal tizzy, seeking confirmation that my sex drive would stay exactly the same. They were all beautiful people and lied. We went from once or twice a day to once a fortnight. I honestly felt like a piece of me had died.
I believe that sex is a vital form of communication and without it a relationship will suffer. I didn’t want us to suffer anymore, I used to have “it” and I wanted “it” back. That feeling when you really want it, when you want to share it with someone, when you want to scream in ecstasy til your lungs hurt and you don’t care an inch about what the neighbour thinks… so I made myself a promise. I would make time for sex or even just a pinch of sexiness everyday. Not an actual time slot or anything, I would just make myself open to opportunities to flirt, to remind myself what it was that I missed and you know what… it’s working. Steve and I are happier, we sleep better, we snap less, we kiss more and we’re more in sync than ever.
It’s not always going to be a happy place, our marriage. Times will be tough, changes may alter our lives but we will always have each other. Remembering to nurture our relationship, whether that’s by going on a picnic, turning the TV off and going to bed early or just chatting at the dinner table, it’s important. We have to remind ourselves about who we were before Aidan and bring some of the great parts, which lay dormant, back to the surface.
What do you do to keep your sexual relationship strong?