As the year swiftly comes to an end I find myself looking back and reminiscing. I spent a good couple of hours this evening trolling back through my posts, not just from this year but from almost five years, I’m just shy of 2000 posts if you can believe it!
2010 has been a road of self discovery. A lot of posts about self esteem, parenting, making new friends and blogging. Oh and not to mention all the posts about finally launching my business. I would have to say the topic I’ve covered most in the last few months would have to be fashion. It was this post I wrote back in May without much forethought at all that suddenly pushed me forward into an arena I honestly didn’t believe I belonged in.
I was being sent emails form Girl with a Satchel amoung others and being followed on twitter by high end fashion magazine editors and glossies like Marie Clare. I was being listened to, I was being noticed and surely but slowly I started to believe that maybe, just maybe the world really was at my fingertips. So I wrote more posts and I wrote more emails and I started tweeting and building relationships with those I idolised and to my surprise they commented, emailed and tweeted me back.
Suddenly I didn’t feel so fugly. I invented Polly Dolly and people loved what I created. Suddenly doors seemed to open… if only I’d realised all I had to do was turn the handle. Opportunities which I would normally never dream of reaching out for where well within my grasp, some even being handed to me. I applied to write for City Chic and got the job, that was back in June and has really made me push myself further out of my comfort zone since.
I knew I was a good wife and mother. I kept a lovely home and we have a great and comfortable life… but I’m 25 and still on that quest to define who I am as an individual. I believe writing my blog has helped me on that journey in so many way. The therapy of writing, the community of friends and lovely strangers that’s been built over time, the practice, dedication and commitment to keep it not only going, but to be interesting, entertaining and honest.
Before I had Aidan I took self portraits all the time but afterward my self esteem took I drive. I felt huge, ugly and most of all leaky in every sense of the word… doesn’t really make you want to run out and try on clothes! A few months after Aidan had moved to the bottle I started feeling more human, I started wearing nicer clothes and I started taking pictures again. I’d browse fashion blogs and be inspired and I wanted to do the same but remove the seriousness and make it lighthearted and fun… making people laugh with me, instead of at me.
That simple post about a magazine has impacted on me a million times more than I thought it ever would. I wasn’t my greatest post, it wasn’t the longest, it didn’t have the most comments and it’s not exactly something I’d print off and frame but it was a turning point for me and I didn’t expect it at all… not one little bit.
What’s your favourite post from 2010?