Rainbow within Reach

Aidan is a colourful character and when he’s not being a mr-bossy-cranky-pants like his mumma he’s a lot of fun. He’s not even two yet and he’s morphed into a little boy I hardly recognise. I’ve been stopping a lot lately, pausing to smell his hair as we rock gently in the rocking chair reading his favourite books. Gazing at his tiny clothes and socks which seem to get dramatically bigger every time I do a load of washing.
BabyLegs sent me some goodies in the mail a few weeks back, I’d always wanted to try them but never got around to it. I did however attempt to make my own back when Aidan was teeny tiny but I can honestly say these kick my DIY efforts to the curb. I wasn’t paid anything for this, wasn’t even required to blog about them, Aidan just looks so damn cute I couldn’t help but show his “dancing legs”.
I was sent  a pair of Rainbow Babylegs and a 2-pack of Spectrum Organic Cotton Socks for Aidan as well as a pair of Lil Rainbow Organic Cotton Newborn Babylegs which I plan to use in a newborn photo shoot I have scheduled in July/August. Aidan was so excited when I pulled them out of the box, the kid loves colour and said “Waneboooow” as he ran to his room and grabbed his Sesame Street t’shirt, what can I say, he knows how to coordinate! He’s wearing the Babylegs and the socks together… too cute.
He’s also wearing his training pants, these are from Best&Less but I now prefer he uses the Dimples brand from BigW as they have a waterproof layer. As some of you might know we practiced part time Elimination Communication with Aidan from only a few months old. He took to going to the potty really well but best of all Steve and I could recognise his cues and teach our son early on about how his body functions.
When the nanny started looking after Aidan part time back in March things went downhill. I was so busy and distracted I missed cues and I don’t think she took him as often as I did. Then he got really sick for a few weeks and we were all tired and stressed. EC no longer worked for us. He wore his cloth nappies and every time I changed his nappy the guilt stacked higher. EC was so good until I let the team down.
The shift to refocus my life was prompted by many aspects, the major ones being sleep, sex, friends and the fact that he’s only young for so long………………….. and who knows if I’ll ever be able to have another child. Yep, there, I said it. I don’t like confrontation, especially with my own subconscious but it had to be dealt with. To stop and breathe and figure out what I want out of life for me and my family. That I needed to stop turning myself inside out to please others and to dance to my own beat.
Subsequently I’ve said no to a lot of things I wanted to say yes to, following my instincts which are usually right. This little rainbow clad dude is my constant reminder to take things slow, too play. Childhood101 has been more inspiring to me than I’ll ever let Christie know. I want to be a fun mum like her and I know I could be… if only I had the time, so now I’m making it. After entering Aidan’s collage (which we spent 2 hours working on) in the Travelscene FBFT4 Competition to win a family holiday to Daydream Island it felt like a sign when we won. I had to stop trying so hard.
The small steps I’ve taken have already made a big impact, he now adores me, as in: standing next to me just to pat my knee or comes up to me and strokes my face. To be quite honest I don’t think he’s done that since he was a few months old, it kind of stopped after my milk dried up. I feel like a better mum. I’ve already proved to myself and my peers that I’m my own person with needs and goals and not just a mumma. Now it’s time to calm down, value my time and skills, stop doing everything without compensation (emotional/physical/financial) and to stop taking things so personally.
It’s hard when everything I contribute to my blog is so personal, I always have to keep my guard up a little. I find it hard to ignore the negative comments so I tended not to write about anything that would prove too controversial. Posts became more structured and rarely written and published in the moment… I was afraid of saying the wrong thing but more importantly I was afraid of being judged on how I was coping… or not coping for that matter. March/April/May kicked my arse and I was honestly afraid that negative comment on a sensitive topic would push me over the edge.
Aidan has only just started going to the potty again this week and it was completely unprompted. He just dragged it out of the bathroom, grunted for me to take his nappy off and then did his business. I was so proud I called Steve at work to tell him the good news. I wouldn’t say we’re starting from scratch but we have a lot of ground to recover. Also after our Townsville holiday Aidan’s been in disposable nappies (ALDI) as well as his training pants. With all the hot washes Aidan’s nappies were requiring our power bill was through the roof ($900+) so as an experiment we’re ditching cloth over winter to save on hot water and dryer expenses. I’ll let you know how we go.
I’ve tried so many new things lately, pushed myself to get out there and have met a lot of great new faces. I’ve made great connections, done some exciting work, travelled, dressed up, had toe curling sex and really felt like I was owning myself and an individual. Now I have a better idea of what I want, I’ve answered a lot of my own questions and feel like I have a better sense of direction, I feel more at peace in my choices. I’m trying to cut back on stress and I think it’s working… my aim is to sleep the way he does.

Comments

  1. 1

    Rinny says

    thannks for your honesty. It's so nice to read honest thuoughts so gracefully put.

    Where oh where do you get all these wonderful free things?

  2. 2

    Miss Pink says

    I love babylegs. I discovered them when Bluey was a baby and *swoon* How perfect are they for toilet training in winter? We've even used them as arm warmers!
    Try not to feel guilty about mothering. What works for one family doesn't always work for another. And what works with one child might not work with the other, even though you have the same parents ;)
    We have always washed our cloth on warm or cold and it's worked for us. 2 kids later no funky smells or many stains. But I line dry as much as possible, even if I have to pull them off the line still damp at the end of the day and pop them in the dryer for a shorter time.

    Your son is just a little cutie. You are doing an amazing job, please try not to forget that.

  3. 3

    Katie says

    Now I get why you cried posting about socks. Boo to negative comments. I don't blame you for not wanting to share. Life is hard sometimes, sounds like your doing the right thing for you. That's all that matters. P.S. I am jealous that you get free stuff as well ; )
    I'm so getting me some babylegs!

  4. 7

    Melissa *Suger Coat It* says

    Perfect. Honest. Beautifully written. And toe curling sex, who can argue with that! ;)

    Big love. I'll be sharing this post.

  5. 8

    Amanda | Amanda's Musings says

    Oh Dani I am so happy to hear that all those tough decisions are paying off so well for you! Congratulations on making the changes you needed in order to start living your own life your own way! You inspire me and I feel I can relate in a lot of ways to the process you have been going through – different circumstances, but I feel I am going through a pretty similar phase.

    I too have been getting more haters lately since writing more personal content, but I took your advice and just deleted the comments and tried to not let it upset me.

    Aidan is just adorable! Too too cute!

  6. 9

    edenland says

    Oh my god.

    You are so beautiful – like, really. SERIOUSLY. What a gorgeous Soul. You're eloquent, soft, determined, stunning. You know your shiz, girlfriend.

    Am in awe. You're a shining star. And that bubba of yours? Made my heart go warm – an Rocco broke my clucker so I don't get clucky anymore.

    It was wonderful, to chat to you a bit last night.

    And I'm starting to get more shitty comments too .. always anon, of course. They make me blog better. Thanks, haters!

    Talk to you soon, and thank you again for the book.

    XOX

  7. 10

    Steph says

    Well hello mr waneboow legs. Teddy looks mighty comfy… Aidan… Bring him back to aunty stephie. Thanks for throwing piggy in there too… I think he called me again yesterday :) <3 aidan, not the pig. Love u. Do I get to come to day dream. You didnt reply :P. … Love xoxo

  8. 11

    cjtato says

    Suger sent me. :D

    But just wanted to say that we all do what works, what gets us through. And the people who make negative statements based on a post need to remember that we're all doing our best to be our best and negative comments very rarely help us achieve that.

    Glad you're finding your way and you've found yourself again! I've only just managed that after three kids. It's a lovely feeling, isn't it?

  9. 12

    Rhi @ Hummingbird's Song says

    My gorgeous cyber twin,

    Every time I think about giving up blogging, you inspire me to keep going. You are so special to me, and I thank my lucky stars every day that we stumbled across each other in the big, wide cyberworld.

    Love you, and I'm so proud of you. Can't wait to give you a big hug again in a few weeks! xx

    • 13

      says

      Melanie Posted on Just watched all the eodspeis in a row. Love the story, the cinematography, the stop-motion. You go, Kai. Congratulations again. Can’t wait to see what happens to Fantastica next. And congrats on the directing award.

      • 14

        says

        Hi, if it isn’t too late perhaps you can help? I’ve been redniag everywhere that there is a free farbenmix pattern available to celebrate their success, but after months of pouring over blogs, I’ve yet to find where in the world it is. I even tried looking at the Fledge blog without success. Can you post a link to it if you know? Thanks so much

      • 15

        says

        I’ve been FTS since about the time they came out and it is dilenitefy worth using eslcpialey for niche sites and during times when you have a serious case of writers block. Just be careful with them because they sometimes have a tendency of posting way too many posts at a time in one day

  10. 16

    PlanningQueen says

    Fab self reflection Dannie. It is hard to admit when we are nto the parent we want to be and you hav done it beautifully and with such a positive attitude about the future.

    Wishing you lots of sleep!

  11. 17

    Nicole Hastings says

    He looks soo cute! Toilet training will happen when he is ready. It's easy to want to push them but they do it when they want to, not when we want them to!!!

  12. 18

    says

    Aidan is so cute specially with those rainbow socks. :D Don’t be bothered with those negative comments. Just be who you really are and write what you want to share with people. Nice post!. XD

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