Aidan is a colourful character and when he’s not being a mr-bossy-cranky-pants like his mumma he’s a lot of fun. He’s not even two yet and he’s morphed into a little boy I hardly recognise. I’ve been stopping a lot lately, pausing to smell his hair as we rock gently in the rocking chair reading his favourite books. Gazing at his tiny clothes and socks which seem to get dramatically bigger every time I do a load of washing.
BabyLegs sent me some goodies in the mail a few weeks back, I’d always wanted to try them but never got around to it. I did however attempt to make my own back when Aidan was teeny tiny but I can honestly say these kick my DIY efforts to the curb. I wasn’t paid anything for this, wasn’t even required to blog about them, Aidan just looks so damn cute I couldn’t help but show his “dancing legs”.
I was sent a pair of Rainbow Babylegs and a 2-pack of Spectrum Organic Cotton Socks for Aidan as well as a pair of Lil Rainbow Organic Cotton Newborn Babylegs which I plan to use in a newborn photo shoot I have scheduled in July/August. Aidan was so excited when I pulled them out of the box, the kid loves colour and said “Waneboooow” as he ran to his room and grabbed his Sesame Street t’shirt, what can I say, he knows how to coordinate! He’s wearing the Babylegs and the socks together… too cute.
He’s also wearing his training pants, these are from Best&Less but I now prefer he uses the Dimples brand from BigW as they have a waterproof layer. As some of you might know we practiced part time Elimination Communication with Aidan from only a few months old. He took to going to the potty really well but best of all Steve and I could recognise his cues and teach our son early on about how his body functions.
When the nanny started looking after Aidan part time back in March things went downhill. I was so busy and distracted I missed cues and I don’t think she took him as often as I did. Then he got really sick for a few weeks and we were all tired and stressed. EC no longer worked for us. He wore his cloth nappies and every time I changed his nappy the guilt stacked higher. EC was so good until I let the team down.
The shift to refocus my life was prompted by many aspects, the major ones being sleep, sex, friends and the fact that he’s only young for so long………………….. and who knows if I’ll ever be able to have another child. Yep, there, I said it. I don’t like confrontation, especially with my own subconscious but it had to be dealt with. To stop and breathe and figure out what I want out of life for me and my family. That I needed to stop turning myself inside out to please others and to dance to my own beat.
Subsequently I’ve said no to a lot of things I wanted to say yes to, following my instincts which are usually right. This little rainbow clad dude is my constant reminder to take things slow, too play. Childhood101 has been more inspiring to me than I’ll ever let Christie know. I want to be a fun mum like her and I know I could be… if only I had the time, so now I’m making it. After entering Aidan’s collage (which we spent 2 hours working on) in the Travelscene FBFT4 Competition to win a family holiday to Daydream Island it felt like a sign when we won. I had to stop trying so hard.
The small steps I’ve taken have already made a big impact, he now adores me, as in: standing next to me just to pat my knee or comes up to me and strokes my face. To be quite honest I don’t think he’s done that since he was a few months old, it kind of stopped after my milk dried up. I feel like a better mum. I’ve already proved to myself and my peers that I’m my own person with needs and goals and not just a mumma. Now it’s time to calm down, value my time and skills, stop doing everything without compensation (emotional/physical/financial) and to stop taking things so personally.
It’s hard when everything I contribute to my blog is so personal, I always have to keep my guard up a little. I find it hard to ignore the negative comments so I tended not to write about anything that would prove too controversial. Posts became more structured and rarely written and published in the moment… I was afraid of saying the wrong thing but more importantly I was afraid of being judged on how I was coping… or not coping for that matter. March/April/May kicked my arse and I was honestly afraid that negative comment on a sensitive topic would push me over the edge.
Aidan has only just started going to the potty again this week and it was completely unprompted. He just dragged it out of the bathroom, grunted for me to take his nappy off and then did his business. I was so proud I called Steve at work to tell him the good news. I wouldn’t say we’re starting from scratch but we have a lot of ground to recover. Also after our Townsville holiday Aidan’s been in disposable nappies (ALDI) as well as his training pants. With all the hot washes Aidan’s nappies were requiring our power bill was through the roof ($900+) so as an experiment we’re ditching cloth over winter to save on hot water and dryer expenses. I’ll let you know how we go.
I’ve tried so many new things lately, pushed myself to get out there and have met a lot of great new faces. I’ve made great connections, done some exciting work, travelled, dressed up, had toe curling sex and really felt like I was owning myself and an individual. Now I have a better idea of what I want, I’ve answered a lot of my own questions and feel like I have a better sense of direction, I feel more at peace in my choices. I’m trying to cut back on stress and I think it’s working… my aim is to sleep the way he does.