Misplaced in New York

NYC LOVE

I am very aware that I’ve hardly spoken about NYC. There are several reasons I can give you as to why I haven’t but I’m not exactly sure which one is more true. You see something happened when I arrived (actually it was probably the second or third day) but it changed something within me.

New York changed me… ugh I’m such a freaking cliche.

I’d never traveled far from home on my own before and even then I still had Caitlin as my travel buddy and room mate. I wasn’t alone-alone but I definitely felt “misplaced”. Steve, my rock was nowhere to be seen, neither was Aidan. My two reasons for breathing. My friends and family were all in another timezone, something I hadn’t gotten my head around which quite often left me feeling disconnected. Even twitter left me feeling left out and don’t even get me started on the whole phone situation, lets just say lessons were learnt.

I didn’t have a bad trip, the exact opposite happened but I think for the first few days not only was I jet-lagged but also in shock. We had a few days before FFFWeek actually started and on the first day we had bagels, went shopping and went to Times Square. It was intense and crowded and I was disappointed by how much I wasn’t blown away. The next few days Caitlin scurried off to do tours of the city and explore but I just found myself buying toilet freshener, extra coat hangers, fresh flowers and other trivial things to fluff and feather the nest.

I went to NYC and I nested.

I’d spend hours walking to Wholefoods by myself and filling our little kitchenette with yummy fresh breakfast options and snacks. Fussing with the apartment til it was just so because it was much more comforting to do that than to go outside and really see the city. I told myself I wanted to be calm and rested before the craziness of FFFWeek started but looking back six months later I realise I’m really good at lying to myself.

It had been several days and the fact that I was in NYC still hadn’t really sunk in. Caitlin was waiting for it and it finally happened the night we went to see Chicago on Broadway. She basically had to push me out the door to go, I wasn’t convinced that musicals were for me and I wasn’t exactly flush with cash. Caitlin is a pusher, she pushed Samantha and I out the door and once it started I couldn’t stop grinning in the dark… and then there were tears. Big, fat salty drops fell from my eyes as silver glitter fell from the roof during “Razzle Dazzle”.

I turned a corner and I was no longer afraid to fall in love with a city that has always called to me.

Now my mind has turned to planning my second trip to New York in June for FFFWeek 2013. As I start seeking sponsorship, researching accommodation and trying to get the best flight deals I’ll also be sharing more of my 2012 journey with you. This was the hump that I needed to get over, this was the part that was difficult to tell you and yet completely natural.

I was scared.

With that monkey off my back I want to document my stories, little bite sized pieces scattered over the next few months. To show you that it wasn’t just some trip, that it wasn’t just about the fashion and the free shit, it was a journey… one I can’t wait to relive.

I plan to be in NYC from the 15th June – 29th June (FFFWeek 2013 is the 17th-22nd) and then LA until the 3rd of July… if you love me can I sleep on your couch?

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Naww well since you know how to get to wholefoods so well I guess you would be the right person to ask to show me lol but great post.. So very normal to be scared! I’m majorly freaking out! But new experiences are the best! xx

    • 2

      says

      Ashley I’m open to having roomies again but depends on sponsorship. I don’t want to promise that I’ll have XX amount of money and then not have it and disappoint anyone. I’ll know by March and regardless, I’ll take you to wholefoods lol.

  2. 3

    says

    I did not love New York as much as I’d hoped. Not sure if you read my first blog post when I arrived, but it was pretty much “what if I hate it? It’s hot, we have a sixth apartment and it’s too freaking hot for me”. When we moved out of our apartment and into a hotel, I loved it a whole lot more.
    I didn’t love BlogHer as much as I’d hoped to either, which is why it’s barely got a mention on my blog.
    But I loved London, and I liked New York, so that’s ok. I do want to return, in the cooler months. I loved Broadway, I loved some of the food, I loved the people we met, I loved Stardust Diner. But I just didn’t love it as I had dreamed to do.

    Best of luck with your sponsorship and FFF this year :)

    • 4

      says

      I did read that post and it made me sad. It’s hard when reality clashes with your dreams. I’m looking at staying in an apartment (the same one as Woogs and Beth) but I’m torn. Time will tell. I haven’t been to London yet, I really wanted to go to the Plus Size London Fashion Week/end but I just can’t pull the funds by March. I’ll most likely be in Melbourne then anyway for LMFF and Fashionopolis.

      • 5

        says

        London is the BEST! Best food, best climate, everyone loves the Aussie accent, there’s cider, the wine is not crappy like we found in America (though I loved the cheap cocktails in America!) and it was really easy to get around. Save for London next year!

  3. 7

    Mrs Woog says

    If I could whip up a time traveller I would set it to plonk me down on East 42nd and Second Avenue any day of the week! Bloody loved it. I am planning my next US trip right now and I am itching to get there!

    I loved writing from there as well. Hope you feel happier next time you go xx

    • 8

      says

      The crowd was different I think. It wasn’t that I didn’t love it, I did but I was just overwhelmed. This time around will be different, I have a lot more friends and I’ll have a better idea of what to expect.

      I accomplished a lot, met a lot of the people I wanted to meet and bought some fabulous dresses. My mindset was all business. This time I’ll chill… we’ll I’ll try too lol.

  4. 9

    says

    I can’t imagine what headspace you must have been in to NOT be blown away by Times Square. in lived in NJ for a year and spent pretty much all my spare time in NYC…. Even now, having been home 7 years, I still have times where I wish the city was just a 20 min train ride away!

    • 10

      says

      I’m not really one for crowds lol, I wanted to shout “Get out of my face” as people pushed past waving cigarettes in my face, something that can set my asthma off quick smart.

      I didn’t really see the city, just a few shops and the statue of liberty but that was only because the White Cruise for FFFWeek went past it lol. This year will be different, I’m saving like crazy and more money means more time.

  5. 11

    says

    I totally got from your NYC posts that you just weren’t digging it at the beginning. If that’s the way you felt then that’s how you felt and there is no need to explain or justify it. Looking forward to more snippets!

    • 12

      says

      Thanks Faith, the posts stopped coming after the third day because I just couldn’t find the right words for my feelings. I was too busy living and trying to process that I had to put blogging aside. Now I’m trying to work through the block by writing small and often rather than the epic post lengths that I used to write in the past.

  6. 13

    says

    I love whole foods! Seriously spent our fair share of time in whole foods in Vegas but in New York there was never enough time in the day. Maybe you were nervous too and Im sure being away from Aiden and Steve would have been a lot to adjust to also. You will love it a whole lot more this time. I wish I was coming but I think I will be in europe :( Make time to wander and find places you want to visit. I seriously need to live there for a year at some point. Loved your post my friend.

    • 14

      says

      I could live on the fresh salsa and guac!!! I often wonder what I would accomplish if I lived there for a year but then I think of all the wonderful things I can do in Australia and I’m not to sad about it :)

  7. 15

    Michelle says

    I get that!! I felt the same way when I went to NY the first time. It was just too much and found myself awake at 5am thinking “This place sucks”! Adjusting to a new place is a good idea.

    Now you’ve been that first time you’ll hit the ground running the second time!!

    • 16

      says

      YES, I was up by 7am most mornings but only getting to sleep by 3-4am purely because there was so much to take in. Hit the ground running… damn straight!

  8. 17

    says

    I remember the first few days in NYC and they were so overwhelming, mostly because of horrendous jet lag. The first week we were there I was working, but the second week was all about the holiday and by the end of it Dave and I were both firmly in love. Having 9 whole days to do nothing but roam and explore was definitely the best way to fall in love with the city. Its the one place we both desperately want to get back to.

    My sister and her husband weren’t huge fans of New York and it had a lot to do with the crowds, it just bothered them too much so they didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought they would. They absolutely loved Vegas though, which Dave and I were a bit meh about, but they spent more time doing in Vegas what we did in NYC so I know that makes a difference. Having the time to just explore a city without time and money constraints goes a long way towards how much you’ll enjoy it I think.

  9. 18

    says

    Familiar thoughts reading this. I just blogged about my second trip back to NYC over Christmas break. I was giving it a second chance and waiting to fall in love with it, but it never happened. Way too over-hyped and the hype did not fulfil my expectations.

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