On Saturday I was meant to head into the city to attend a fancy PR event. I did my hair, put my face on and got dressed. Steve and Aidan drove me to the train station but as I sat in the car, cradling my cold and seeing their soft warm faces I took a moment and I didn’t want to miss another. I made a call and decided not to go. I’d been looking forward to this event for weeks and it was so unlike me but every part of me wanted to be at home.
I’ve been feeling off for ages but the last couple of weeks I’ve felt grounded, I’ve been working on “me” and so far so good. Steve always says that the thing that annoys him the most about me is my lack of time management. I’m hoping that by bringing Dana onboard I can balance all the elements with a bit more ease. For the first time in a long time I finally feel like I have back up when it comes to my blog, my very personal business.
You totally thought I was just going to talk to you about the jacket didn’t you? Well this blog isn’t just about clothes, it’s a reflection of me. The inside as well as the outside. I’m just letting you know that it’s ok to say out loud when things aren’t ok and that you’re willing to make changes, to accept help. Life without adjustments would be stale and bitter. You have to know that it’s ok to let people in, to trust.
Don’t let the positives slip you by either for they’re the parts you need to cling to, to drive you through the rough patches. I get asked a lot how I’ve come to have so much self confidence, like I’ve robbed a bank or unlocked some sort of cultural secret. I’ve done nothing of the sort, I’ve just allowed myself to be. I’ve surrounded myself with supportive people and taken risks.
I’ve had the immeasurable pleasure of being with my husband for over 10 years, from the ripe age of 17 and there is no doubt that he has played a huge part. He gave me love, respect, passion, freedom, power, security… and then over time I was able to find those things within myself.
I didn’t bound out of the womb knowing exactly what I wanted out of life, who I am now is bits and pieces of experiences and choices I’ve made along the way. I’m 27 and still learning new things about myself everyday and I sincerely hope that never stops.
I made the decisions that got me to where I am today. I can’t blame anyone else for those outcomes and of course curveballs are to be expected. All I can do is make own my choices, accept who I am including my flaws and still be able to go to sleep at night. To accept the fact that there are a over a billion definitions of perfect and that I’m allowed to claim one of those for myself.