Things are good.
I’m neck deep in the adjustment period but weirdly enough, I feel at ease. I’m editing wedding photos, writing, drawing, shopping, driving, lunching, dressing up, going out, dancing, cleaning, drinking, cooking, playing… I’m living, but living lighter.
I’m a stress head, I always have been. I wish it was something I could turn on and off but only tequila can do that. Working from home is hard, working in social media from home is harder. Not only can you never really walk away from your work place but the internet doesn’t stop clicking just because you decide to switch off for awhile. You have to train yourself to separate your time and I’m still trying to figure it out.
I’m forever adjusting.
When I meet people for the first time, they get to know what I do and what’s involved and I almost always get this response… “I don’t know how you do it”. In some ways I’m flattered but most of the time things go by in such a blur I can’t really recall how I managed to pull it off. I guess when it comes down to it, when I really want something I make it happen, if I don’t I let it slide.
Sometimes my priorities don’t rank as highly as I’d like to but that’s marriage, parenthood and compromise. Sometimes I’m told my priorities are so off kelter that I’m going about life all wrong but I think that if I feel like I contributed positively to those around me, learnt something new about the world and found pleasure in my day… if I want to live differently that’s my prerogative.
The grey area is where the magic happens.
I read that recently and I love it. I do believe you have to go off course from the norm to discover new ways and new thought paths. It’s exciting to think that all the walls, paths and goals I thought I was stuck in or trudging towards aren’t there any more. My heart wasn’t really in it anymore, the fact that I tore them down in my mind and I’m currently surrounded by dust and everything is still a little cloudy… well, if I’m honest it gets me so excited!
I’m a stress head and a planner and the old me would consider what I’m doing right now as a free fall. I couldn’t just make it up as I went along. I couldn’t just declare to the world that I was throwing in the towel. I couldn’t just give up my established income stream and reinvent another just built on hope.
WHO IS THIS PERSON???
Who knew taking such a big risk would leave me feeling so calm? Who knew that all the things I thought were out of reach for me, things I never thought possible really were attainable? I found myself looking at courses and workshops to further my education in different fields. I found myself reaching out to those I respect within the industry to make new things happen.
A lovely reader commented recently, noting my gradual changes in style over the years and how I’ve managed to morph from the old to the new and she applauded me. Sometimes I forget that it’s all documented here for the world to see, chapters of my life and journey for you to scroll through. I live my life from post to post and it doesn’t take long for the old ones to fade away for me, I’m always more focused on the present.
I know it’s only the first day of December but I’m already so pumped for 2014. I thought going from brunette to blonde would be the biggest lifestyle change for me this year, who knew it would be so much more. I’ll tell you all about it when I can but for now thanks for completing the survey and for all your messages and emails of support, it means so much!