Dramatic Tendencies

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Do you constantly feel overwhelmed? I do.

Most of the time it feels as though it’s one thing after another. You get through one drama only to step right into the next, you’re lucky if you even get a few hours or days to breathe between them. I’ve felt this way for a few years but really noticed it in the last 12 months.

It creeps up on you and it’s hard to shake it off. I found the most common triggers fall under five major categories:

  • Health
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Self Esteem
  • Sex

Now these can be expanded in a multitude of ways but for this post I’m going to keep it simple because you already have enough going on and I’m glad you’re here to chill out. Drama can be found in even the smallest moment, the wrong tone of a conversation, the whitest of lies. They’re easy to spot, in fact you get so used to looking for problems that you begin to overthink and start to assume that no one has your best interests at heart. Suddenly you’re the one creating the drama.

It can eat at you, leave you lying in bed awake at night trying to solve problems that don’t (or might not) actually exist. Stress effects all of us differently and depending on the levels it can greatly affect our behaviour and relationships, not only with those around us but ourselves. It’s sad because ultimately it’s unnecessary and harmful. The best stress therapy I’ve found is talking, by airing my problems I feel less alone and the problem is less likely to negatively affect other aspects of my life such as my sleep and self esteem.

Health: Recently I’ve had to come to terms with heath issues that I’ve been ignoring. I worked through my emotional reasons for delaying help with a counsellor last year and I can easily say it was the best investment in myself I’ve ever made. Talking to someone confidentially, someone completely removed and indifferent was the best relief at the time and now it’s given me the skills to see situations around me a little differently, be stronger and allow myself to be vulnerable sometimes. As for the specific issues I’ll touch on that in another post.

Friends: I had to change my mindset about a lot of people who have entered my life. It’s weird to be surrounded by people yet feel so far removed. I let them naturally fall away and invested my time and love in those that were really as invested as I was, and remembered that some people will just come and go and come back again. Suddenly things began to feel less toxic. I also realised I set high expectations of those around me and was easily disappointed when they weren’t met, essentially setting everyone up for failure and leaving me feeling sad. I’m actively trying to be more zen about it all but it’s taking practice.

Family: It’s been an adjustment, going back to a slower pace but everyone is benefiting, myself included. Steve has more time to pursue his passions which has had an overwhelmingly positive effect. Aidan has had more time with all of us together doing things as a family instead of Steve and I taking shifts in the juggle to make everything work. I’ve become more open and honest, I mean brutally honest with my family, something I’ve always struggled to do and it’s made such a difference, I can’t even begin to explain how good it feels and we’re all closer than ever before.

Self Esteem: This has been a bit rocky for awhile now, especially during this transition of my blog and business model. I’ve taken on new roles, reassessed what my personal strengths are within my industries but in order to do that I’ve had to be honest with myself. I’ve allowed myself to feel low about some parts but also workshopped ways to improve those parts of myself I wasn’t happy with or just come to terms with the fact that I can’t be good at everything and that’s ok. I can’t be everything for everyone all the time, I just have to focus on being me.

Sex: I think it’s very easy to over analyse our romantic relationships and build up sex to be more than what it really is. Worst still, a tool to be used to create drama or quench it. I love sex. It builds intimacy, asserts confidence, triggers emotional and physical releases and if done in a nurturing and supportive way can boost your self esteem like nothing else. Releasing yourself into the moment, allowing yourself to bask in the glow of something so natural and harmonic that each time you wonder how your body could even possess such joy… with a partner or solo I might add. Sex isn’t like that for everyone and it’s a difficult topic to discuss so if you’re having issues of any kind please speak to someone about them, don’t let it build up into drama.

Drama and stress is a part of life but ultimately only you have a say in how long or deeply you will allow it to effect you. Know you’re not alone. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t have at least one of those categories to deal with at any given time. No problem is too small, unimportant or silly, if it affects your life and you need help it’s ok to ask for it. I’ve linked to some services below that you might find helpful, all of them free.

When was the last time you asked for help?

Dani x

Comments

  1. 1

    Stephanie says

    I’m really glad you wrote this post. Even though I know whats happening most of the time I’m glad you can share with others.
    I went to Headspace on Wednesday for the first time, walked in with this lightening storm above my head and left feeling the lightest I have in ages. It was litterally like the birds were singing, sun was shining and the world was a different place. I’m so happy that we can be open about these feelings because it shouldn’t be something we have to hide :) we arent all ok 100% of the time… and thats ok

    • 2

      says

      Exactly, I know I got swept up in it. Wanting to be happy, shiny and inspirational all the time, that’s not life, that’s delusion. Being honest and real is scary and confrontational but that’s what I find the most inspiring in others.

      I’m glad you took action to get the help you needed x

  2. 3

    Givona says

    Great piece…..I totally get what you are saying. Im trying to take time out and not “feed” situations when they arise. Its hard to remain calm Im such an over thinker. Ive found antidepressants work for me in terms of stopping the negative cycle of thought from building up too much and getting me completely overwhlemed. Im working on things and trying not to be “perfect” and “good” all the time. Its ok to make mistakes and not beat yourself up for it.
    Take care Dani. I really enjoy your blog.

    • 4

      says

      Thanks for sharing Givona. There is stigma attached to so many categories of our lives, the worst being mental health. The sad thing is that if it’s treated with the same care as any physical ailment or complaint, most of the other factors that cause us stress in our lives would be alleviated. Good on you for taking care of yourself, that’s all anyone could wish for x

  3. 5

    Kace says

    Thank you so much for your honesty & for this post – I am at the point of asking for help at the moment. I actually was at that point 2-3 weeks ago, but today I actually took the leap. What you’ve written really relates to me, as I’m sure it does with many others too. It’s amazing how sometimes we can be our own worst enemies!

  4. 6

    says

    I love this post, I love how open you are. I find talking with a professional (be it a councilor or psych) can help so much, someone to just be able to vent, and who can give you neutral feedback. I haven’t seen my pysch since last year, and boy do I feel it, my head gets noisy. Friendship is something I need to work on, I suck at it, as you may have noticed :P Though I know my main issue is that I always feel like i’m bothering people, something I need to work on. Sending love.

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