I often get caught up in what I’m s’posed to do. Obviously there is the general things like be kind to people, be generous, empathetic and insightful. Be clever, witty, talented and humble. Be creative, resourceful, intuitive and a risk taker. Brush my teeth, do my hair, do my laundry. Basically all the hats.
When I had a normal job knowing the focus of my day made things extremely easy, most often to the point where I was bored out of my brain. The same objectives everyday, a set list of expectations, roles and duties. I got in, got it done then left to go home and pursue my own passions. After Aidan was born I realised that wasn’t enough and fortunately I was in a position where I could do something about it.
I was always putting my toe over the line when it came to ideas at work, I was overly enthusiastic. If I was going to commit my time to something I was all in. I’m a person with many ideas but with the added bonus of having the energy and mixed skill set to pull them off or better yet have a network of skilled people around me to assist. I’ve discovered this can be highly annoying to people who like things the way they are, people who are comfortable.
For me that’s designated to bedding, sofas, jeans, shoes and situations for when you’re over 60 years old. I’m not even 30 yet and deep down inside I feel like I have something to give, to offer value to those around me. The thing is I’m still trying to figure out what that is. I have an idea but it all comes down to delivery don’t you think? It’s a grand thing to have passion but it’s even better when you have the goods to back it up, not to mention a sprinkle of razzle dazzle.
I thought I was doing the right things, along the right path with the right people. I thought I was leading by example but the more I look back the more I realise my business wasn’t of my own making, it was like a box of Betty Crocker. Simple, delicious with a good ROI but ultimately it wasn’t mine. Sure I could convince myself I was baking from scratch but I may as well have just gotten a roll of cookie dough.
Yay for baking analogies!
So last year I made a promise to myself that I’d find my own way. It would be difficult, it would be lonely but ultimately I had to do it for myself. I walked away from my agent, I changed my practices and the way I divvied up my time. I changed my roles and responsibilities within the community I created and set myself new boundaries and goals. I also asked for help… that was kind of a big deal.
Now all those changes are in place after months of planning. I’m writing and creating a lot more, in turn you guys are coming to visit more often and there are plenty of newbies which is lovely. My client relationships are better than ever and my writing is getting across more platforms than I could have ever imagined, it’s wonderful actually. There are things in the pipeline that I just can’t wait to tell you about.
I’m straying from the point… basically, I’m finding my own way. It’s easy most days, exciting and challenging but then you have days like today when ProBlogger Training Event Tickets go on sale. I’ve been tossing and turning about attending for weeks, it’s been worse as the ticket sale date came closer. I waited for a sign. It came in the form of a phone call at 10am.
I didn’t buy the tickets.
So for the first time ever I’m not attending #PBEvent and whilst I feel really good about my decision, I’m sure I’ll be a total green monster when my instagram feed fills with photos of all my blogging buddies. Friends and cocktails aside, from a business point of view I did good by me. It’s also the reason why I wont be going to the US in June. I feel like I got what I can from those experiences and I’m on the lookout for new ones. Broadening my horizons so to speak.
For me, this year isn’t about what everyone else is doing, keeping up or keeping forward. It’s time to focus on my independent goals, needs, desires and those of my little family’s. I’m throwing rules and guidelines out the window, embracing more of the authentic and I feel in order for me to do that I need to block out the noise. If I unfollow, it’s not you it’s me. If I take a little longer to reply to emails just know I’m enjoying life which in turn makes by creativity brighter. Sometimes less really is more.
Doing what you’re s’posed to is easier, knowing when to break free and fly your own flag…
… that’s some scary sh*t!