When I’m Ready

me

I’ve learnt that there is no rushing the natural. You can’t change the weather, you can’t change time and you sure as hell can’t blog when you “have to” and especially not when you’re “expected to”. The posts I feel really good about, the ones I’m proud of, the ones that seem to reach out and build an emotional bridge to you through my computer screen, they just happen.

I’ll be honest, I forgot that.

That’s right I’m flinging my hand up in the air and saying “My Bad” because it really is all on me. I was so utterly focused on what I ‘had’ to do to be professional, to be a leader, to really make a change within the industry, to really deliver what you needed… that I forgot about me. This is one of the most vain websites on the internet I’m sure (even that statement is vain lol) but I really hope you all absorbed what I was putting out because within every post and photo there is a message wrapped up in personal experience and emotion.

That was the part I loved, constructing post themes, figuring out unique ways of delivering information whilst staying true to my creative needs, meeting awesome new people and making an income to support it all. It was really fun sharing my life, style and knowledge with you all but pressure was mounting.

It seemed as though people, across every avenue, were telling me they needed more… more of everything. Time, money, posts, consistency, travel, events, meet ups, moderation, updates, giveaways etc… it seemed as though I was only being seen as a figure. A business, a face/body, a brand and I guess most people would be pretty happy with that result, ultimately it means more money from a business point of view but for me it took the humanity out of it, the soul.

Yep, a pro-blogger just said that.

It’s not about being nostalgic of “the old days” as I much prefer the present but I do feel there a ways we should be modifying how we interact and the reasons behind it. I think it’s due to the influx of media attention bloggers have received in the past three years and the resulting, multiplied influx of new bloggers out there looking to make a buck. If that’s you, stop reading and walk away from your laptop. Go outside and watch the birds, join a local club or start up-cycling thrift shop furniture because that would be a better way to spend your time.

Seriously, blogging sucks time like nothing else and unless your heart is in it there is no real reward. Just to clarify further, there is also no “free stuff” and time/energy is more valuable than money. I’m not whinging, not in the slightest because I love what I did, my heart was firmly in it. Honestly time slips past so quickly but I have to tell it like it is. The more time I spent online, the more I needed spend, it was never enough. It engulfed my entire life and sometimes dictated it. Again, putting my hand up and saying “My Bad” as they were all my decisions, lesson learnt.

I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am. I’ve invested a lot of time and money to educate myself, to hone my skills, to have the best equipment, to travel far and wide, to meet many inspiring people and to try as many new ways/styles/mediums/formats/platforms as possible. I was one of a handful of bloggers who were the first in Australia to be paid by large corporations for posts and that was a thrill, it was a huge driving force within me to really push the envelope, to see how far I could go from a business standpoint.

You might be thinking, that’s awesome, but I’ve always felt slightly guilty, a bit responsible. I figured out a formula of personable, written and imagery based script that worked well for all parties, that being the reader, the writer and the brand. If you really analysed my branded post construction you’d pick up on the pattern, many have and have replicated it. Now please don’t go thinking that I’m trying to stake claim to the way sponsored posts are written today, god no, I feel exactly the opposite and I want to distance myself as much as possible.

I’m done.

I’m tired of seeing my blog as a business.

I’m tired of some of you not seeing me as a person.

Haters gunna hate and this post as nothing to do with them, not in the slightest. It’s about the emails, the messages, the comments and sometimes even the phone calls. I’m being treated like a service and more often than not, a service that you need immediately and desperately but you also have no money to pay for it or energy to invest in it. It’s almost as if you believe that you don’t need to because everyone else is… except everyone else is thinking the same thing.

There is no Danimezza headquarters, no office, no secretary, no staff, no company car (or credit card for that matter), no childcare and no benefits, just me at my computer in my little studio. Somedays I’d just kill for someone to share a sandwich and a conversation with during the day. It’s the most isolating thing I’ve ever done, even more so than becoming a Mumma. I’ve reached a point where I want to take my unique talents out of my studio and use my skills to take someone else’s business or company further, to be a part of a real team.

Blogging in Australia has passed the pioneering stages, it’s established but has room to grow. Sadly some of the people within it I feel could easily be cast in Game of Thrones. Now that big money and agents are involved (mainly parenting, travel and grocery categories, there is still not much money in beauty and fashion) people who were once carefree with their contacts, projects and editorial calendar built walls and they built them high. I should know, I was one of them.

I built Aussie Curves to try and fight against the trend and it worked for awhile, sadly not for long as it grew rapidly and the group quickly set it’s own expectations and roles. I shared everything I could to help people shine in their own unique light. I felt that if we all shined together we’d draw more attention and our positive influence would spread further and I’m so happy to say that it has.. it is.

Unfortunately my ‘giving’ nature wasn’t always reciprocated. In fact I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been burnt. It hurts not only my spirit but also my bank account which limits what I’m able to do, what I’m able to create which again, hurts my spirit. It’s not about competition, that’s just a state of mind as we’re all unique and immeasurable. What saddens me is the lack of trust, openness and true friendship, the give and take kind. I invested so much love and energy into my online relationships, often sacrificing physical ones only to find I’m still alone, just typing in the dark.

That’s not good enough for me anymore.

I want more.

At the end of this financial year I’m closing down my blog as a business. All the backend stuff (that you never saw anyway) will be wrapped and tied up with a big bow of love and gratitude. I’ll still be blogging don’t you worry about that! The act of storytelling and social networking is now so engrained in my life I couldn’t imagine not doing it everyday. By removing the official, registered, stoic, business side of things I’ll be allowing myself so much more creative freedom.

My soul needs space and time to roam.

Personal factors within my life are currently my priority. They’re big, heavy, life changing issues that are important and need to be dealt with without the burden of impersonal expectations from people outside my immediate circle. I need space to have a clear head and to give myself the chance to look outside the box for opportunities that enable my skills and personality to grow.

I need to feel free to write what ever falls out of my heart and onto the keyboard. I need feel safe in the fact that those reading aren’t judging me professionally but embracing me personally. I need to be forthright in communicating to those around me (including you) how I’m feeling and where I’m at… not as a brand, not as a blogger but as a person. Stripping away all the walls, all the expectations I feel others have for me and just be.

Me.

All that I am, flaws and all.

happiness

Dani x

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Sending SO much love! You’ve always been such an inspiration to me and I’ve never understood how you’ve done it. Being someone who is super shy, I’d often look on at you in wonder at how you really have a ‘presence’. I can totally understand your views though & think its great that you’ve taken a stand and doing something for YOU. I hope I’ve never made you feel bad, or anything less then awesome. xoxo

    • 2

      says

      Never ever Natalie. I really hope no one focuses on that part because it was only to illustrate the point I was trying to make about how valuable and precious friendships are to me. It wasn’t a specific dig at anyone. I’ve just come to realise online friendships aren’t enough for me, I put too many eggs in that basket so now I’m concentrating on building physical ones :) YOU are awesome xx

  2. 3

    JaY says

    Ughhhh is all I have to say about this post. I used to love your blog, but within the last 12 months you have created an abundance of posts where you try to explain the reasoning behind your actual blog posts that just end up being massive whinges about the industry and about how hard it is and about how much effort you put in and about you being a trailblazer and ughhhhh. Just stop. Start making actual blog posts again not explanations for blog posts. I couldn’t even finish this post it was so whiny and irritating.

    • 4

      says

      Hi Jay,

      Your comment sadden me because I feel the whole point of the blog post was missed and that all you took away from it was that I’m a whinger.

      Emotive posts like this one, made up the bulk of what I used to write. I wore my heart on my sleeve, I really communicated about where I was at in life and documented the journey around me. It’s taken me years to get back the vulnerability I lost.

      This was the final post about my transition, to inform my readers that I wasn’t just talking about change but declaring it publicly and taking action. I wanted to clearly explain why and how, out of respect for my long term readers (some upwards of 7 years) but also for the new readers who have found my blog within the last two years.

      I understand that in the time you’ve been reading my blog you’ve gotten used to certain content so I understand your point of view but please take the time to consider mine. Here is the last paragraph of my post, I really wish you’d taken a moment longer to finish it:

      “I need to feel free to write what ever falls out of my heart and onto the keyboard. I need feel safe in the fact that those reading aren’t judging me professionally but embracing me personally. I need to be forthright in communicating to those around me (including you) how I’m feeling and where I’m at… not as a brand, not as a blogger but as a person. Stripping away all the walls, all the expectations I feel others have for me and just be.
      Me. All that I am, flaws and all.”

      Dani x

      • 6

        says

        For a second I thought I’d delete it but then I read it again and realised it was a clear example of what I was talking about. Expectations set by strangers of how I should conduct myself, how I should create, what value my words have… I used to let all that noise of opinion dictate my direction. I tried so hard to be what everyone said I should be, deliver what they needed…

        This post is what I needed and I didn’t know it was in me until it was out… and it feels good :)

  3. 7

    Cassanda says

    I’m going to have to agree with Jay on this one. I’ve turned off your blog as it is no longer ‘interesting’ to me personally. There seemed to be something to read about before and I looked forward to the aussie curves posts but all there are now are long winded whines about nothing really. These longer posts seem to not really have a point. You’ve written so many posts about the new change coming etc etc and really all it is is a whinge.

    • 8

      says

      The fact that you’ve come, read and commented despite claiming that you no longer find my blog interesting shows that you care. It’s for that reason precisely that I’m changing.

      My blog was never meant to be a guide, a resource or information portal. It’s a place for self reflection, for sharing parts of my life that bring me joy and yes, sometimes even the darker, murkier things… all dressed up in fashion, photography and adventures. Sometimes it connects with people and sometimes it doesn’t.

      The point is, moving forward it’s all on my own terms, there are no corporate affiliations and people know where I stand because of posts like this. I guess if they aren’t for you maybe just skip them.

      Thanks for reading and your feedback xx

      • 9

        Cassanda says

        Ok, wow! I will unfollow you from FB so I don’t get your updates! That was a very catty first paragraph. In having a blog where you share with the world and put it all out there for people it should be expected to get a few comments that may not be to your liking. Could really see the ‘real’ you.

        • 10

          Dudi says

          Catty? I’m not sure you understand the meaning behind that word. And in my opinion i think you should go ahead and remover her from fb. It’s because of people like you who sit behind their pc having all sorts of expectations about how bloggers should run THEIR blog, that has made her come to this point. And for you now to come on this post and comment this nonsense is just baffling.

          Maybe you should go out and do something yourself if you think she is not interesting enough for you, odds are you are probably not interesting yourself.

          Please take your negativity elsewhere, because Dani does not serve it!

          • 11

            Cassanda says

            You are obviously a vile and hate filled person and I feel sorry for you. I wish you had the courage to post openly instead of anonymously like you so hypocritically referred to me. People don’t create open, public blogs for their posts to not have an audience and readership, just like when an author publishes a book that is panned by their readership I expressed my opinion which you cannot handle but have absolutely nothing to do with. Have a good day sitting behind YOUR computer, being anonymous and with no authentic thoughts of your own.

        • 12

          says

          Hi Casandra, Sadly I think you may have misinterpreted my tone. I was trying to say I was grateful.

          I’m glad that people who publicly declare that they’re ‘done’ with me still come back and give feedback because they care, because they want to express their concerns and enjoy my content again. That’s why I’m changing, for the people who get me. For the people who care.

          I’m aware that not everyone will agree with my views, I’m just sorry I wasn’t clear enough within my response to avoid this awkwardness.

          sigh.

          • 13

            Cassanda says

            I’m sorry if my comment offended you but I was just expressing how I felt after so enjoying your blog for so long :-)

  4. 14

    says

    Hey Dani,

    I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you for everything you’ve done for the blogging community so far. Especially the plus size fashion blogging community – through Aussie Curves you really have created that sense of community that so many of us (not just bloggers, but I’m sure other women too) have previously not had in our lives because of the various stigmas that come along with not having a body that fits inside the so-called “acccepted” social norm.

    You’re not only a trailblazer in what you do in Australia, but also here in New Zealand. I’ve walked in to meetings with clients and had them talk about how great you are! I’ve gotta tell you, it’s daunting as hell to be put in the same basket as Danielle Melnyczenko, but at the same time I am so, so proud to be seen as one of your Kiwi peers, because what you do is amazing and to be seen even vaguely in the same light as you really confirms that my blog is doing the things I want it to do. I love the way you tell stories, and I think that being able to create content in that format is not as easy as some people might think, especially when you’re trying to share parts of you in that story.

    So thanks Dani. Thanks for all that you’ve done and all that you do. I can’t wait to see where your adventures take you next – I’m here for the long haul!

    xo Meagan

    • 15

      says

      You know how to make a girl blush! Such kind words and I appreciate all of them. I wont be withdrawing my involvement within the industry, just altering the channels in which I do so. I’ve had several job offers so I’ll explore them when the time and opportunity is right. I hope to work with a company I can pour my heart into but at the end of the day I’m able to walk into my home, switch off my “work brain” and be totally present and have the security of regular income. Thank you for all your support, means so very very much xx

  5. 16

    Siggy says

    Congratulations on this exciting new direction. I loved the early days of Aussie Curves – it was so positive. It’s good to move on but don’t downplay all your great achievements so far. It’s so easy to do that! Keep being wonderful.

    • 17

      says

      I’ll still be managing and fostering the growth of AC, it’s so important to me but I’ll be including more admins shortly to distance myself in that regard so I can become an active regular member again. Much love x

    • 19

      says

      Thanks Siggy, it has been suggested to me in the past but I feel uncomfortable I guess. I’ve found my readers really love to support my closet sales on facebook and all that money floods back into the blog and they get something physical in return. Thank you xx

  6. 20

    Martina says

    Dani good luck. I am here for the long haul too. We all need to be aware when things are changing from within and a public declaration with a deadline is appropriate for such a big change for you. Stay true to you. Not everyone has to like it. And I hope you find something that takes you into a physical place with other people to interact with.

  7. 22

    says

    I find it interesting that bloggers feel they have to explain themselves to their readers, to justify a new direction – especially when a blog can be whatever the blogger wants it to be. No one else should dictate that.

    Best wishes for your new direction. Just do it, don’t worry what others think or say.

    • 23

      says

      You’re right, I totally get what you’re trying to say but from my point of view I just really wanted to articulate as clearly (and I guess in a long-winded way) about my plans, further and far more definite than I have in the past.

      A part of my problem is that I have trouble disconnecting when I should, I’m too emotionally invested in not only what I create (which I think can be a good thing) but also in my readers needs. I know so many of their personal stories, tragedies, triumph, fears, passions and doubts and I carry them with me. I allow those emotions to dictate my actions but no longer, at least not to that degree.

      I also think I need to put that date in writing, to make that declaration and to hold myself to it. To inform those who simply assume they know me and what I do. Instead delivering the facts and also making my feelings known. Action has already happened, it’s not just words and it’s not just this post. A part of the problem was that so many never actually saw what I did and I never claimed credit so I guess to them this is a whinge but to those who get it, get it and that’s what’s most important to me.

      Thanks for always being a supporter of what I do, it’s never been forgotten xx

  8. 24

    says

    I’ve noticed through your blog and interactions in the facebook group that something about the direction you’ve taken your blog doesn’t seem to sit well with you anymore. It didn’t feel like you were grounded. It felt like you were fluctuating between steeled determination and then resentment for the sacrifices that you had to make. You weren’t interacting with your readings and the Aussie Curves group with the usual warmth and openness that I was used to (and if I’m being honest, that hurt a bit) — and to me that was a big sign that dealing with all of this was using up a lot of emotional resources, that you didn’t have any left to share. I’m glad you took some time to reassess and forge a new (old?) direction; it feels like that’s what the last few posts you have made have been about– they were sort of letters to yourself to help you understand yourself, your dreams, your values, and what’s important for you. It’s all a part of personal growth, and none of it is easy. I hope that helps bring you a sense of groundedness and the feeling of being the best possible Dani.

    • 25

      says

      “… letters to yourself…”

      Exactly, in many ways they are. That was also the moment within your comment that I burst loudly into tears. Your comment is perfect, it’s the message I hoped people would receive and what I hoped the response would be.

      I agree, I was tapped out. It’s taken time to ask for help, to find a balance. I’m extremely protective of Aussie Curves because I understand the people within it. I’d say only 2% are at the point where the bold AC girls are and many seem to forget the fragility you feel at the beginning of that journey and as the founder I feel it’s my responsibility to create a haven. A cocoon for them to learn not only about fashion, beauty and those other material things but to learn about themselves and revive the confidence that lays dormant within them. I’ll admit I’m more focused on the caterpillars than the butterflies.

      My network is large and I have my ear to the ground. I know when people are being exploited and since AC’s growth not only in membership but also in corporate attention it’s been a daily battle. I’m a big teddy bear really but when I need to I can be a protective mumma bear. Unfortunately over the past year a Mumma Bear is all I’ve been able to be and when I try to shake that off and be a teddy bear I guess I still come across a bit gruff. Again, it’s all stuff that’s unseen and difficult to explain without context.

      Thank you for understanding, for your involvement, your kindness and energy. I’m always here, I’m just trying to be more present. Much love x

      • 26

        says

        One of the messages that I hear really clearly from you is this sense of huge responsibility about the Aussie Curves group that you find so hard to disentangle from yourself when you step away from the screen. It sounds like one of the hardest parts of the role you created is to navigate all of the conflicting desires and needs and fragilities INSIDE the group and at the same time protect it from all of the conflicting desires and needs and fragilities of entities OUTSIDE the group. I can see your need to protect us, and trying to prevent us experiencing some of the shit that you have had to travel through alone. I can see the maternal instinct manifesting in your unshirking need to protect the people who you see as the most fragile, those in the most need of being taken care of — your little caterpillars. You want all your little caterpillars to transform into butterflies without the hurt or the hardship that you had to go through– not if you can help it, anyway. This is what I’m taking away from this– does that sound right?
        Thank you for taking the time to let us (me) into a very personal part of yourself when you didn’t need to. I feel like I understand you better, and I really value that.

  9. 28

    says

    Dani, I have been a fan from day one. I follow your blog, your Instagram, and your “vlogs” from fashion week last year were something I always looked forward to! I love your style, your ethics, and your ability to stand up for what you believe in. The negative comments anyone writes are and should be irrelevant. Like you mention, only you know what is best for you. I’ll say this, your style and joie de vivre is inspirational! You are a role model, not only to curvy women, but to women in general. And for that, I thank you! This world needs more Danimezzas! Hugs! :)

  10. 30

    Annette says

    Dani, you are a champion. I’m wishing you well.
    What a shame that some people seem incapable of moderating their rudeness and criticism. Turds.
    Enough now!
    Thank you for all your passion and giving so much for so long. Your core ‘tribe’ will stick around, the rest you won’t miss.
    Onwards!!
    Annette xx

    • 31

      says

      Thanks Annette! Your support and enthusiasm is greatly appreciated. It’s a huge thing for me but there will always be those who don’t understand or don’t even want to. It’s just a shame that they would rather pour energy into judgement rather than understanding. As the saying goes, Those who matter, don’t mind. Cheers xx

  11. 32

    says

    Dani, I’ve always admired your heart, your work ethic and your giving spirit. I think I still think of you as the way things were a few years ago anyway! I’m sorry to hear you’re burnt out and hope that this decision gives you the energy you need to focus on what you need to for yourself. I’ll still be cheering in my little way for you every step of the way.

    • 33

      says

      Thank you so much Cat, it’s quite bizarre how easily I can tell the difference between people who have read for years, those who wane in and out and the fresh faces. Each have their own reasons for reading and their own expectations of what they hope to get out of my content. All support is appreciated, especially from those who really know me. Much love xx

  12. 34

    Ange says

    I’m another long term reader :) I go way back to when you were pregnant, loved going on that journey with you as I have a little boy about the same age. Over the years things change, I have less ‘leisure time’ to sit and read all of my beloved blogs – but I’m still ‘lurking’ and reading when I can – whichever direction you and your blog take, I’ll still be here, quietly supporting you. xx

  13. 36

    JaY says

    Hi Dani,
    let me begin by apologising for the tone of my last comment, after rereading it this morning I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess it’s easy for me to forget that you are only one person, not a board of people… Because often I have equated the calibre of some of your blog posts to that of articles in flashy magazines.

    I understand that you need to grow and change and that is your right. I wasn’t frustrated by this post because I got used to seeing you publish certain content… (I think I would follow you regardless of almost any content you blogged about because you are my FAVOURITE blogger). I got frustrated by it because it is difficult for a non-blogger to relate to, the posts are generally quite long-winded and I feel like you’ve already covered the issue many times.

    I think in the heat of the moment I was just so excited that you had posted something and then so disappointed that it was about this. I get it, you are transitioning, that’s great! Now please post anything but your explanation for the transition! I know you’ve got some great material to blog about, I’ve seen it in your “mummy” posts and I’ve seen in your “vanity” posts. I’ve loved it all.

    That said I know you have a lot of bloggers that follow you, so maybe this post wasn’t for me. I don’t know. I just hope you’ll find your groove and post great stuff again. Again I apologise for my last comment, it was unduly harsh. At the end of the day you are just a person with feelings and I should have treated you as such.

    Regards,
    Jay.

    • 37

      says

      Hi Jay,

      I totally understand, got to love a post published at midnight lol. Thank you for all the compliments and for genuine feedback. I do realise that my regular posts are lacking and I’ve missed creating them, I have so many in my head waiting to come out… but they were blocked.

      It’s almost as if, over the past few months, I’ve had something stuck in my throat. A blockage. I just had to keep coughing until it was removed. I know, probably could have picked a prettier example but that’s how it felt. Awkward and restless. Each time I wrote those posts I thought I’d cleared it but I’d go to write and BAM… blocked again.

      This post wasn’t even meant to be about this, it just gurgled out of me so I let it happen. I had no plan to tell anyone I was closing up shop until it was on the screen. I read it, processed it, read it again and suddenly the blockage was gone. Weight was lifted and I could breathe again.

      I think Alexandra was right, they were letters to myself. They had to come out of me to really process what I needed, what I truly wanted without distraction or misguidance. My own therapy. Now the blockage is gone, the air is clear and I can move forward creatively. I started two new drafts this afternoon :)

      Yes, you’re right that a lot of bloggers read my blog and I guess a lot of the stressors that I’ve experienced could only be understood by other bloggers but I think we’ve all experienced high levels of pressure and expectation at some point for my story to be relatable across the board.

      Thank you for taking the time to come back and discuss further, it means a lot to me.

  14. 40

    CReatIvEly Curvy says

    Hi Dani ,

    Your blog was my very first exposure to the world of plus size fashion. From an Aussie Curves perspective I’ve noticed the more public challenges you’ve had to face since the increase in members – and it’s sad that you have to work so hard to keep it a safe place for your little. ” caterpillars “.

    Thanks for all your input and I’m so excited to hear about your new opportunities, new. 9-5 living and wish you all the very best :).

    • 41

      says

      I guess it’s just an overly sensitive and quite emotional space at times which can be quite volatile if left to it’s own devices. It’s not like that within the group by intention, just by nature. Ironically those same issues are also what bring us together :) Thanks for your support xx

  15. 42

    Amy b says

    I wish you all the best. Follow your heart! I can clearly see why you are making this change, just by reading the comments on this post. If people do not like your blog, or your content, why are they here commenting on it?? You said “haters gonna hate”, but it looks to me like “a-holes will be a-holes”. Keep doing what you love and what fuels you, and forget about them! Best of luck. I look forward to seeing where you go from here. P.S. You are way more zen than me. I would have had a hard time commenting so graciously. Good for you.

    • 43

      says

      Thanks Amy, it’s really not about anyone else but me. I’m reclaiming my lost, voiceless vanity posts and making them into whatever I want them to be again. Much love x

  16. 44

    says

    Dani, I knew when I finished reading this post that I had to comment. I just didn’t know what to say. I think a massive THANK YOU is required. You have inspired me so much. When I first found Aussie Curves, I really did not like myself. But through doing the challenges, talking to other people and reading your blog, I finally started to accept me for me. My confidence has grown so much, along with my wardrobe! And a lot of the thanks goes to you.

    You need to do what you need to do and I (and I’m sure a whole heap of other people too) will still be here reading. I just wanted you to know that.

    xoxo
    Lisa

  17. 46

    Rach aka stinkb0mb says

    I think the very nature of blogging means blogs and their writers are always evolving and with evolution comes changes, it’s a natural byproduct. Some change is good, some bad but all should be embraced. Some struggle because they inherently don’t like change – in fact you will find most struggle with change on some level, it’s easier to stay in the comfort of what has become normality than to shake things up – others relish the chance to change things up and experience new things and mould things to suit themselves and I have to say, I’m a fan of the latter. Changing things to suit you [and your needs] is going to produce better results eg writing, experiences, environment 100% of the time.

    I for one, am glad to read this post. You haven’t been yourself in this space, I believe, for quite some time. Your writing hasn’t flowed as much, or as well, as it used to and it’s felt like some posts were strained, as if you were just writing because you felt you “had to” or were “expected to” and no one writes well like that. The best writing just flows from fingertips and I’ve really missed that style of writing on your blog, you used to do it regularly and well, I’m now hopeful that it will return at some point in the future.

    Question. What does this mean exactly?

    “At the end of this financial year I’m closing down my blog as a business. All the backend stuff (that you never saw anyway) will be wrapped and tied up with a big bow of love and gratitude.”

    Does this mean you’re not going to be doing reviews/sponsored posts etc or am I too hopeful in that department? While I understand you no doubt have readers that love them, I’m not one of them and to put it simply, I yearn for the days of blogging where it was about the writing and the connections [old style blogging!], rather than the “free stuff”, “reviews”, “sponsored” and “gifted” items and subsequent posts.

    While I’ll always read, the less you do of the above and the more you do of the “old style” blogging, the more you’ll see me participate, which I love to do!

    Looking forward to Danimezza’s future Dani x

    • 47

      says

      That’s basically it in a nutshell with regards to business stuff. No more sponsored post but I’ll still be reviewing products because I really love to do it and a lot of awesome things really do pop up in my PO Box by surprise and if they’re worthwhile sharing they’ll get a feature. Most of that stuff is done on IG now, my audience there loves it. As usual everything will still have disclaimers but I wont be accepting payments for posts anymore, consulting or anything else like that.

      … I miss the words flying from my fingertips xx

  18. 49

    says

    To me, the very best part about a blog is that it is entirely the creators. There is no editor that is making demands of the content. No one decides what goes into it other than the blogger.

    Your blog is yours. You started it for a certain reason, continued it for another, evolved it into a business to allow you to follow your dreams, and now you get to change it again. Because it is YOURS.

    Another blog I read made a similar decision Young House Love. They had decided early on to never accept gifts or do sponsored blogs because what they do is for their home, and they want everything in their home to be ‘theirs’. However, they explored other aspects of the business. They have advertisers, they do giveaways where instead of accepting a gift for themselves they offer it up to readers. Their blog has allowed them some amazing opportunities – books, their own designs being sold in Target, being involved in designing a whole house etc.

    However they have just had another child. They realised that they had already surpassed everything they ever wanted from their blog. They realised that everything was getting bigger, but with no real goal. They already had what they wanted. SO now they too are cutting back, getting back to something smaller.

    Your blog is allowing new doors to open for you, so now you can evolve. That’s ok. Some readers may leave. That’s O.K too. Some will stay, that’s great. You will also find new ones. Even better.

    In the end though, the only one you ACTUALLY need to please is yourself ;)

  19. 51

    says

    Aussie Curves has brought a lot of people together and built the confidence of a lot of ladies, myself included.
    It’ll be be great to see you actively participating in the challenges again, and because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.
    Hope this change gives you the freedom to be yourself and write what you want :)

    • 52

      says

      Thanks so much Katie, I miss them especially now as all my clothes are either sold or packed in boxes. I’m living in my one pair of Torrid jeans, the only bottoms I own that fit and a collection of bonds tees and Asos jumpers… hardly inspiring lol. Once things settle down with the move I’m sure I’ll get back into the swing of it :) Much love xx

  20. 53

    Joy says

    Hi Dani, I think this might be my first time posting, though I’m a regular reader of your blog. I love seeing you in your pretty outfits (and just seeing your lovely face!) and reading about your adorable family. I think something else that I enjoy about your blogging is your willingness to share your feelings — not everyone is able to do so, and it is uplifting and inspiring. I wish you all the best in everything you do! :)

  21. 55

    Toni Brockliss says

    I’d eat a sandwich with you anytime Dani!
    I have NEVER read you as a business…..I have only ever related to you as a loving Mum with a flair for fashion and a Mumma bear to a wonderful posse of plus size women who love clothes.
    I wish you every luck in the world for where your feet, heart and head take you….and I will be here, reading along saying “you go girl!”

  22. 56

    says

    I’ve only recently started reading your blog and can see the struggles you are having with which path your blog is going to take. I hope the decision you’ve made about it brings you fulfillment and joy. Blog for yourself, if other ppl like it – great! If they don’t… well, loss to them.
    I think all the Aussie Curves stuff you’ve done is amazing you are are truly inspiring, and your blog should be yours and yours to play with as you see fit. Hugs and fist bumps for the future of your blog. x

  23. 57

    Shirl says

    hey Dani,
    I pretty much love it all, totally interested and love your work,
    Whatever is important to you and you intuitively feel is the right way for you, then I agree,
    I have always enjoyed hanging out and engaging in your ‘journey’, even as far back as ‘i-do’
    thanks for being real, and being you,
    xxxxxxxxxxx

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