Parenthood

Photo Credit: Rachel Devine Photography (Feb 2012)

For newer readers you may have missed out on a rather large and constant issue on my blog regarding infertility. Obviously it all worked out well in the end but there were almost 5 hard years of hoping, wishing and swearing my head off and sleeping on tear soaked pillows. It was hard on my self esteem, my marriage and my waist line.

Just as a bit of a recap for the newbies:

Diagnosed with CIN3 at 17
Have a pap smear, it could save your life. Sure it’s uncomfortable for a few seconds but it’s better than the alternative. I had several laser treatments and biopsies and happy to report that I haven’t had an irregular pap smear in 5 years but continue to have the test done every 12 months for my own piece of mind as I have Cervical Cancer in the family.

Started Trying To Conceive (TTC) at 19
As you can imagine my vagina has gotten a fair bit of action and not the good kind. I have become just a little uninhibited. When we started TTC this helped a lot as it’s a very icky process, mucus, temps, timing, doctors, ultrasounds, drugs, blood tests etc. Talking about it on my blog was very helpful and reading other blogs made me feel less alone in my quest and less of a failure as a woman.

Found a Brilliant Gyno at 21
I searched high and low for a large profile Gyno who would give me answers to my unanswered questions. I found that because of my age, Doctors just weren’t taking me seriously and was told on numerous occasions that I had “plenty of time”. I’d had debilitating, painful, irregular periods since puberty. I wrote him a letter at 2am pleading for his help and he called me personally the next day. He put me on Clomid and Reductil but nothing worked for 6 months. I wasn’t ovulating at all and he believed I never had.

Had Laproscopic Surgery at 22
There were no reasons that he could find as to why I wasn’t falling pregnant so it was time for exploratory surgery. Turns out I had Endometriosis and a pretty bad case for someone my age. It was all removed and I was laid up for a week. We all crossed our fingers… 6 months later I still wasn’t pregnant and we were referred to Sydney IVF. We decided to take some time off from TTC before jumping on the IVF journey, I mentally needed a break and Steve needed one too. We planned trips away and started saving.

I fell pregnant at 23
The Doctors still aren’t sure how it happened but everyone was glad it did. Maybe my body needed a few more months to heal, maybe we didn’t have sex at the right time, maybe we needed to stop trying. No matter how or why, we were ecstatic. I’ll always remember sitting at the Gyno office expecting to see a little bean on the ultrasound and instead seeing a waving tiny little baby… I was already 3 months before we found out. They were concerned about my cervix from the CIN3 treatments so I had a lot of Ultrasounds, I think about 22 all up. I suffered bad pre-eclampsia in the later stages of the pregnancy and at 38 weeks I was admitted to Hospital and the next day Aidan was born.

I had Aidan via C-Section at 24
He came into the world so calm and beautiful. While I was “open” they checked to see if any Endometrial tissue had regrown due to the hormones during pregnancy but they gave me the all clear. Read his Birth Story here.

Aidan turned One when I was 25
My milk supplied depleated just before Aidan was 6 months old but it took until Aidan’s first birthday for me to get my period. I was in terrible pain, it was just like when I was younger, I felt like I was being turned inside out. I started to get worried…

What Now?
Would I have trouble falling pregnant again? Is the Endo back? Could I handle going through infertility again, mentally? How would that effect Aidan? How would it effect our marriage?

There are a lot of things I’ll randomly discuss regarding infertility but don’t count on them being frequent. I prefer to focus on the now, where our little family is in life now and the joy we create through traveling, art, learning and play.